Thursday, May 28, 2009

Traditions We’re Skipping by Kate


When it comes to wedding traditions, I believe in picking the ones that work for you and leaving out the rest. I’ll wear a long ivory dress and my dad will walk me down the aisle (But come to think of it, I’m not really interested in being “given away.” Maybe we’ll go with “Who presents the bride?”), and of course, we’re embracing tradition by getting married in the first place. But we’re not following all the rules. Andy and I plan to skip these five traditions: 

Bouquet toss 

If you’ve ever been a single woman at a wedding, then you know that standing in the middle of a crowded room while a hundred happy couples watch you desperately try to catch a hand-me-down bouquet can be a horrifying experience.  

Words like “submit” and “obey” 

We’re going to use short and sweet wedding vows from the Book Of Common Prayer. But while I’m sure we’re in for a lifetime of giving in to each other’s demands, Andy and I just aren’t comfortable with the old-timey “husband makes the rules, wife makes dinner” language. I think we’ll stick with non-controversial words like “love” and “trust.”  

Bride’s side and groom’s side 

This is a wedding, not a ball game, and there won’t be side taking of any kind. (Full disclosure: My opinion might stem from the fact that Andy knows more people than I do so his side would probably be fuller, and I tend to get competitive—so its really just a recipe for disaster in our case.) 

Garter removal 

First of all, I’m not really sure what a garter is. Secondly, I sometimes duck when Andy so much as kisses me in public—I’m certainly not going to let 200 people, including but not limited to my grandmothers, watch him grope me. Later that night, he can remove whatever he wants in the privacy of our hotel room. 

Seating chart 

Our wedding guests are big boys and girls, and they can decide where they want to sit. Since single people get to bring dates, no one should feel like it’s the first day of school and they don’t have anywhere to put their tray. Also, we’re trying to keep the planning process as simple as possible, and a seating chart sounds so…time-consuming. 

Which wedding traditions would you skip?

© copyright homemade grits

8 comments:

Maria said...

This is the only way to make your wedding planning a sane time! We are NOT having a guestbook(Such a waste of time!) and no grooms cake unless we can find a cool/tacky birthday cake motif at Publix.

Maria- 16 days till wedding!

Rachel said...

As soon as I get pictures back, I'm going to write a post about our wedding. We skipped so many traditional wedding "rules" it's almost like we went to the courthouse. And I loved every minute of it!!!

Southern Aspirations said...

OOH- Congratulations! Didn't realize you were planning a wedding.

We broke several traditions- (1) destination wedding, (2) I had "honorary" bridesmaids- just my sister stood up with me (3) no guest book- I lied- had guests sign a coffee table book of St. Thomas at their leisure (4) no garter or bouquet toss.
Did wear white (well, ivory), had many of the traditional vows (though I think no obey- it was honor). And did have a groom's cake- a fun take on my husband's nascar enthusiasm.

Claire Kiefer said...

Plus, you can't trust your sister not to ruin your wedding by shouting out "THAT'S SEXIST!" as soon as words like "submit" or "obey" are uttered.

down and out chic said...

your wedding sounds perfect, seriously no bouquet toss?! thank God.

homemade grits said...

oh my goodess no. I'm not planning a wedding, my wedding was a glorious 4 years and some months ago. My dear friend Kate is planning a wedding to her love Andy!

i did not participate in any of these traditions either. no bouquet toss, no garter, no announcing the wedding party, no chicken dances.

Carly said...

We skewed tradition a tad - I'm Jewish and E is a Methodist, so we wrote our own vows incorporating both of our traditions, lit the unity candle and broke the glass. We had our ceremony and reception at a heritage village, and got married in a 200-year old log church. For seating, we used Vitamin String Quartet, who re-interpret popular songs into classical, and I walked in to a rendition of John Lennon's "Grow Old Along With Me" by Postal Service.

We didn't have tons of dancing, but our entertainment was awesome! We got a local singer who does mostly big band standards and sounds exactly like Frank Sinatra - we even told him to sell his CDs at the reception.

To honor E's Southern roots, we had a groom's cake (a bunny coming out of a top hat, since he was a magician as a kid), and for our favors I handmade chocolates. E did have his heart set on the garter toss, and surprised me by doing magic at the same time!

I'm sorry for writing a novel, but gosh, was it a fun day!

Southern Aspirations said...

That's what I thought. That's what I get from trying to read in reader... ;-)