It's been a long one

Today was a very hard day. The weather was beautiful and I'd like to say I had a chance to enjoy it, but I can't say that I did. Sam and I slept in with Matilda after her morning wake up call. We had breakfast and then tried to mentally prepare ourselves for Melissa's funeral. I wanted to back out, to not face it, to run away, but we got ready and headed out. I knew that the funeral was going to be horribly sad. I've only been to one other funeral for a young person and they are so somber and tragic. The last funeral was for my childhood friend Davey. There wasn't a dry eye and Melissa's funeral was the same. The program contained two poems that she had written, one about her faith and the other about living with cancer. I didn't know that Melissa was a writer. Her poems were beautiful and haunting. There were songs sung by her friend, most of her family got up to speak, as well as her devoted husband Ben. I couldn't help but think about how short this life is and how much of an impact we can have on others (good and bad). I thought about what others would have to say about me.

I want to feel like I'm making the most of every second I have on this earth. A lot of times that concept overwhelms me and I end up doing nothing instead because it's easier.

I just don't want to live with regrets.

There are definitely things about me that I want to work on. I know what they are and I pray about them, but I feel myself breaking my promises to myself every day. It's hard to not feel beaten down, and it's so easy to justify my actions, but I know that God sets a higher standard for me.

I had to go straight to work after the funeral and I was a mess. Melissa touched so many lives and she was on my mind all day. I was late because of some paper shredding event and I broke down when I finally got to work. Thankfully I work with wonderful people who made the day easier. Lately I just feel like I say the wrong things to people all the time. I just can't seem to get my words out right and to convey to people how I really feel. I feel like God is pushing me and giving me a big wake up call...it's hard to listen.

I'm looking forward to the warm weather we're supposed to have tomorrow, spending time in the garden (an old friend), and enjoying my family. Right now I just feel completely drained.




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Babies, beasts, and Bumbos...oh my!

Today I spent a lot of time reflecting. I wept all morning over the loss of a wonderful woman. I wept for her suffering, for her family. I put myself in her mother and father's shoes, I put myself in her husbands shoes. I thought about how she planned to be a lawyer, how she had to drop all of her dreams to focus on being well. We take our health for granted until it is no longer there. I just thought a lot about not wasting my time here, and the gift that is life.

I bought this poster to inspire anyone who visits as well as my family:



I don't want to spend energy and time dwelling over what I did or didn't do. I want to live my life to the fullest and be an example to my children. One of the ways I plan on doing this is by hopefully creating a way for me to have my hobbies become my lively hood. As much as I love my coworkers and enjoy my job, I know that I have dreams that haven't been followed...



Sam has been sick for over a week and today I was able to stay home with him and nourish his achy bones. I stuffed him with vitamins and vegetables and he seems to finally be on the mend. Again, I was brought to reflection on Melissa and how I can't stand for Sam to have a cold. How did their family cope with cancer? Cancer is the worst possible disease and I cannot imagine watching someone you love being consumed by it...





On a happier note...here are Matilda and Guinness just chillin'

I hope that you all will hug your loved ones extra tight and remember how precious your lives are.

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Sad news

Today my sweet neighbor Melissa lost her battle with cancer. It has been so sad watching their family go through this incredibly hard time. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for them to be away from home for six months fighting for her life. Melissa was an incredibly strong woman of God. I know she is with Him now. Please continue to pray for her family.



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Inspirational

My neighbor Melissa has been struggling with acute leukemia for almost a year. She has been through so much pain going through procedure after procedure as well as chemo. She has maintained such a positive outlook on life despite the challenges she has faced. Her husband Ben has been such a strong man of faith throughout their ordeal, supporting her every step of the way. Melissa was recently told that there was no cancer present in her body. After much negative news, this was a miracle. The doctors confess that the cancer may return, but Melissa remains hopeful. They have really inspired me in their struggle to stay strong and never give up hope. They credit their faith in God in getting them through the past year.

You can read her story here.



Ben combing Melissa's hair! Her hair has grown so much since this picture.

Here are some pictures of Ben and Melissa's beautiful, tropical garden. Full of lush banana trees, hibiscus, and beautiful roses.





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