Every year women and children scour the retail globe in search of the perfect gift for the father who has everything. Since it is so difficult to figure out what you should get dad on his special day, here's a list of what you should not get the big guy!
just don't go there
Anything whose functionality involves work
Gym membership. This gift says "Dad, I love you as much as you love beer and late night snacking."
Tools are a pretty good gift, even though their functionality may involve work. Here's some tools dad doesn't want:
-Hammer- he has 50 already, and unless there is a new thumb resistant model, he doesn't need more.
-Power Drill- Unless it can drill for oil in the backyard or comes with an "able to drill to China" guarantee, he doesn't need it.
-Stud Finder- If you buy dad this tool, make sure you buy plenty of batteries. Dad will wear them all out by putting the tool on his pecks, biceps, and ass, and incessantly remind you "where the stud is." Besides, real men knock on the wall to find studs.
So now that you know what not to buy, here's some things dad may actually be happy to receive.
Sleepy dad wants a hammock
Lost dad needs a GPS
Gizmo dad lusts for the new iPhone
Handy-man dad really just wants a high dollar gift card to Home Depot
Musician dad wants a computer based recording bundle (these can be had on the "cheap" at guitar center, musician's friend, etc.)
Golf dad wants a new golf bag. Find one with tons of bells and whistles that make no sense whatsoever. Dad will love it!
Fishing dad needs a new tackle box, bigger is better. It should be stocked with line, weights, filet knife, lures, hooks, and for God's sake a bottle opener! Actually, just ask the guy at Bass Pro to build his dream setup. Dad will be well pleased!
Bass pro Shops
Child-at-heart dad still likes video games. The XBox Elite is out. Grand Theft Auto IV, Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and Gears of War 2 will likely satisfy the man-child in your house.
Movie Buff dad would love a high dollar gift card to AMC or Regal Cinemas, but under no circumstances is it to be used on Sex and the City or any movie starring Hugh Grant!
Above all else, make sure dad knows how much you love him and appreciate him. That's a better gift that anything on the list.
© copyright homemade grits