Monday, July 25, 2011

dear diary,


aren't these just the prettiest?

last night sam started a fire for me and i burned approximately 15 years worth of diaries. i read through a lot of them and just felt bummed. i had some really sad times as a young person and still have sad times but in a totally free moment where i wanted to just be present i burned those times. i sad buh-bye to ex-boyfriends, mean "friends," insecurities, painfully private thoughts that i would be mortified if anyone read. it.felt.so.good.

i want to write a letter to myself at each age that i began keeping a journal while the entries are still fresh in my mind. that's my intention this week. i want matilda to be able to read them as she goes through those painfully awkward times in life. i challenge you to write your 15 year old self a note.

speaking of being 15. i found the journal where i originally did the artist's way and i can't wait to compare my answers now to how i felt then. progress.

speaking of advice... i've been loving yours.

7 comments:

Shaunna Faye said...

I remember that feeling when I threw out old blog posts and emails that had been printed out from when I was 16-19 years old. I was so happy to have them in the garbage so no one could ever read them again. I was so embarrassed to have acted the way that I did back then. Throwing those things out made it feel like my memories were the only thing that were left of those days and only I could access that...thank God. When my daughter is older, the only thing that I really want her remember is that boys aren't your life and they can't control you. Being respected and having free will is SO IMPORTANT.

Kate Kiefer said...

yeah girl!

Natalie said...

Oh my, this made me remember the time I cleaned out my childhood closet at my parents' house before we moved in to our new house in Athens. I threw out tons of old notes, journals and photo albums that were full of everything you just talked about. I've often thought about what I would tell my 15-year-old self, looking back. I hope that the painful, awkward memories and the advice I have now will still be fresh in my mind when I have a teenager of my own. It's funny -- when I was in high school, I never thought of myself as sad, insecure or even angry, but looking back, I totally was, I just hid it from everyone else. Being a teenager can be so tough! I am going to jot down a few things in a special place to help me remember. Thanks for the inspiration...xoxo

Claire Kiefer said...

I think I have my bananafish somewhere, too! I'll have to look for it next time I'm home. Burning old journals is probably a good idea. As is writing a letter to our 15 year old selves. I have enough notes from you at that age to fill up an encyclopedia!

Becca said...

good for you!

I haven't taken that little step yet but it does sound so freeing.

Neil Butterfield said...

it is good to expunge all bad memories. You should travel light and lose all unnecessary baggage.

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