Thursday, July 9, 2009

First born performer and other flaws

Right now I'm re-reading The Ragamuffin Gospelby Brennan Manning. It's a book about grace, finding it for yourself and for others. You see I struggle with being a perfectionist, wanting others to like me, wanting to "perform." I think every birth order position holds its own weight, but those are the kinds of issues I deal with everyday. I want to be the BEST I can be in every area of my life, in every relationship, in the way I look. Quite frankly it's exhausting. I never measure up against my own strict code of being. I'm really working on breathing easier and not holding others to this same crazy standard (except for I must admit that I prefer phone calls to text messages, when did everyone stop using their voices?).



{roxi beatrice}


© copyright homemade grits

5 comments:

little by little said...

my.life.story.

Christy said...

Preaching to the choir sister! I have been trying to do the same thing, and when I get flustered I hear my lovely husband's voice saying "F*@# It" and it helps me simmer...

Southern Aspirations said...

Ummm right there with you. Someone came out after the whole birth order book and found fault with it, but... I'm not buying it. Know too many First Born performers like myself and sounds like you are too!

Shahrzad Baber said...

I am the same way, it truly is exhausting, I keep hoping as I get older it will go away, maybe by 30 it will be better?

bonjouritsjinah said...

I was exactly like this up until a year or two ago. I don't know what clicked or dropped but for some reason I have more faith lately that things will turn out okay whether or not I live up to my expectations.

I don't know, everything's going to be okay, lady. Because really, what other choice do we have?