searching for pinecones

changes have been on the horizon for sometime now. this weekend i was in full blown organize/conquer mode trying to put the pieces together, planning for the new year. my mom has been keeping matilda since she was born. we are so thankful to have had loving, guiding hands on her when we weren't able to be there. i could not have asked for a better caregiver for matilda. earlier this year my mom enrolled in school to become a yoga instructor (yay!) so we knew it was inevitable that a new chapter was beginning for her and we are so excited to see where this path will take her.

starting in january i am going to be a working from home mom. i know this new adventure will have its own set of challenges but i am so excited to be able to spend more time with matilda and to be more involved. i'm researching pre-schools and i'm looking forward to new opportunities that will come from this change. since i was a little girl, i've wanted to be a stay at home mom, just like my mom. i never wanted to miss out on anything. when we had matilda i knew that the possibility of me staying home with her was bleak. when i first went back to work i was working full-time, which was heart breaking for me to be away from her so much. since becoming a part of the seed factory family i've been part-time, which has been incredible. i love working with creative, talented women who inspire me. it's also been nice to have time out of the house with adults. although i'll miss being in the shop as much as i have been i'll still be a part of the team popping in during the week and working some saturdays, which i'm so grateful for.

i've been working hard on this blog and several other projects in the event that i needed to stay home with matilda. i've always enjoyed the creative outlet and even though i'll be home i still plan on working. it's important to me to help support our family. sam works so hard and takes such great care of his girls. of course the thought of not having a clear cut plan is scary. i've had to repeatedly breathe deep breaths and remember that although we can try our very best, we are not in control. it felt so great to be reminded of that at church yesterday. we were learning about the third week of advent, that amidst all of the darkness in this world, that a light was coming.

thank you as always for your support of our family. i can't tell you how much i appreciate it. wishing you all a very special christmas season!

100 years from now...

L: spotted on designlovefest R: photo by sam graham

when i stumbled upon this quote it literally shook me to the core. over the last few weeks i've been feeling so detached from myself and feeling really unsure of who i am. what i want out of life. as a mother, our whole days tend to revolve around our children and then every so often we pull back and feel hungry to regain ourselves. to put on something pretty, to have an adult conversation. lately i've been so jealous of my single friends (by single, i mean without children) that get to roll out of bed leisurely and have fancy dinners out on a whim. i've been jealous of women who have "people," jealous of moms who actually have time to shop for themselves (hello closet full of clothes from 2005). i've been feelin' a little sorry for maself and boy have i felt guilty for it. isn't that how it goes? then i read the quote above and it was like God shaking me telling me to snap out of this selfish stooper. it was a big, bold slap of reality and what's really important. in a hundred years from now it won't matter if i have the latest cashmere cardigan from jcrew. it won't matter if i missed one fun night out with friends. what will matter is that i read an extra story at bedtime, that i played with matilda at the park, that we danced in the kitchen until we were sore, that we make each other laugh ridiculously hard, that my daughter knows how much her i love her.

not to say that i don't think it's important for moms to be able to share these sorts of feelings because i think we all have these "moments." i started slowing down, taking in the time that matilda and i have together and savoring it. sam had a bunch of shows last weekend so til and i had a lot of one-on-one and SHOOOOT do i love that girl. it hurts how much and sometimes i just need to be reminded of her smallness, how temporary it is that we'll be housebound, how fast she's growing up, how fast the meltdowns will come and go, how freaking lucky we are to be blessed with this little ball of magic. i think so often the fantasy of being able to do whatever we want is so much greater than that reality. even if i get woken up at 5:30 in the morning and touch something unidentifiable once a day, i sure as heck wouldn't change being the mother of my blondeheaded girl with a strawberry mustache* for anything.

*matilda calls anything that gets on her face a mustache. today it was strawberry jelly.

sunday + new hair

is new hair worthy of being in the title? yes. i have not had bangs nor changed my overall look (other than parting my hair down the middle) in YEARS. in fact, i haven't had bangs since i was a small child. inspired by this picture, i drove myself over to dada to see jessica (she's amazing) on friday and just went for it. i think part of the reason i never change my hair is that i don't love the attention. if someone doesn't say anything they must hate it and if they do say something i turn red.






brunch photos taken here. the last two pictures are handcrafted gifts by yours truly.

we spent sunday with some best laid plans...plans don't always come to fruition do they? on sundays when i work on saturdays i always feel the need to jam-pack the day with as much fun as possible. no naps, late sleepers, and long waits kept apple-picking, church, and a walk from happening. however, we celebrated birthdays all day long! we're in a season of birth. makes me happy to celebrate my favorite people.

*psst. tomorrow i'm talkin' bout time management.

detox day 4/ the weekend!

eating junk makes me sleeeeepy.
pin

so i thought about keeping this dirty little secret from you but i think honesty is the best policy. last night at the end of a long day... i caved. i wanted comfort food. we made it almost four days and i wanted to treat myself. sometimes you just need to stuff your face. going in to this week i wasn't feeling very "in it to win it" so that could be it, not to mention "the visitor." not helpful, but now that i've put myself in to a food coma, i feel confident that i'm going to hop right on the wagon of being healthy. i think it's been much harder this time around because i have already done the hard part of changing the way we eat (with the flexibility of a cheat night) and it was tough to start over cold turkey...

 sam was really cute and got me a carrot cake cupcake with the new martha stewart halloween issue!! isn't that cute? it made me really happy. so, i hesitated to share this secret in fear that i would cause anyone to stumble. you can do it! i can too! the truth is, no one is perfect. we all give in to our cravings. it's eating great 90% of the time that's really important.

 could you all do me a favor and tell me if i look nerdy in these? they are so comfortable! i'm going to make it my mission to make them cool. just look at this chick. workin' em.

have a great weekend and let's talk about things after the holiday. deal?

gratitudes

because i have a major case of the mondays... i'm going to list things i am grateful for in no particular order:

i am grateful:

that i managed to finish this little flower girl dress.

for my adorable matilda. she got her first busted lip last night and was over it in less than a minute. tough.

for dinner with great friends.

for a date with my sister on wednesday to see one of my heroes from the sixth row!!! thanks daddy!

that we're pre-gaming here.

that i was sent pictures of two of my favorite little people with green mustaches after they drank this.

that i had such an awesome mail day (replacement part to my trash can-don't judge, september's whole living and this print)!

that it's my oldest friend's birthday. send her some love!

for phone calls with my big hearted brother.

for a husband that has dinner and wine waiting for me when i get home from a long day. he really is the best.

that i'm feeling better already.

ps the bachelor pad is total trash and i watched it. shameful. with that said... team ames.

simple pleasures

speaking of simplicity, these are some recent simple pleasures that i have been LOVING:

1. date night. we went to the chicken and the egg which felt completely out of body. we are so not spoiled when it comes to dining out in marietta, so this place was the jam! we tried several cocktails including the debutant ball (as shown above). they were all the bomb. i would go there just for drinks, but lucky for us the food was good too. i had the burger but look forward to trying their cobb salad. the banana pudding was also pretty tasty. hello bananas that have been soaked in bourbon. yeah, i'm down with you. we finished our date night with this epic ending. tear. so great. i literally fist pumped (bumped?) at the end.

2. shelling pistachios. who knew that the simple act of shelling would make me feel totally at peace. matilda was tearin' the house up, but i didn't care. just sat there shelling. i made this for dinner. i loved it. didn't get a huge round of applause from the carnivore.

3. standing on the hot porch barefoot, drinking ice water with lemon. so simple yet totally refreshing. working in retail, my feet take a beating. this always feels so good.

4. supporting the handmade community. i went to this fun event thrown by west elm + my girl ginny. i bought the most amazing handprinted fabric from the nicest girl.

5. the most wonderful pleasure i've been experiencing recently is my morning coffee, outdoors with this book and my heavenly father. really can't say enough about it.

6. hanging with the cutest little girl i know. tantrums and all. recently everything is "or something." "mama, is your hair wet or something" "mama, is that guinness or something." crack me up. i got her the raddest sweater ever from h+m. i might have swung in there post etsy event. whoops!

7. yoga. went to the most amazing mixed anusara class. i'm still sore! it felt ridiculously good.

hope your weekend is full of simple pleasures. what are yours? talking about them makes me happy. i have grilling out fajitas to look forward to, some much needed family time, church and soaking up the last bits of summer goodness. who am i kidding? we have at least two more months...

run.

found here

i'm on my second week of training for a 5k. this has been incredibly helpful. if you don't have a smart phone, my beautiful friend jodi recommended this program. for as long as i can remember i have always admired runners, been in awe of their discipline (so many people running in the mornings at the beach), and obviously impressed with their hot bods. i don't know what has kept me from trying to be a runner other than fear. my face gets bright red when i exercise and redheads are known to faint easily, but darnit i've been running in the late evening heat and although i've felt like i might puke i've kept going. each day has gotten easier and every day is different. sometimes i take guinness with me which results in pulling him away from stray cats, running in place if he has "to go." yesterday i ran while every neighbor on my street had their sprinkler on. it was exhilarating.

i know i've been talking a lot about goals and i think it's because i feel like i've woken up from this heavy fog and i just want to make life amazing. i hope that you too will challenge yourself to push beyond the status humho of the everyday. i've been reading two books in the morning that are also helping to quiet my inner critic. the first being recommended by the lovely osayi, the power of now talks about not letting the past dictate and rob you of your future. i'm learning to not focus on "the thinker," secondly i read a chapter every morning of taste and see to reaffirm with scripture the beauty of each day and the power of our awesome God. i wake up at the crack of dawn and drink my coffee while i'm reading outside. it's a little piece of bliss.

i wanted to take a second to thank everyone who commented on this post yesterday. it pained me to read about some of the financial struggles that you guys have gone through but i'm so proud of the steps of action that you are taking towards financial freedom. i wish each and everyone of you many years of "sand-between-your-toes."

dreamin'

dreaming this morning about waking up here...

i've started the last two mornings with prayers and coffee on the back porch and this book recommended to me by the adorable liz. i'm really enjoying it.

my mind has been dreaming of a get away.

going anywhere fun for memorial day? spill it.

may 3rd

you can read more details about the dress here.

i realize that today is the fourth, but this was the third in a nutshell. matilda is obsessed with climbing in baskets. she loves the towel basket in our bathroom (as seen here) she love the laundry basket, the toy basket in her room. basically if it resembles a basket... she's in it.

my heart was heavy on may 3rd. i spent moments throughout the day offering up prayers for some really wonderful people going through something that no one should have to. their baby was airlifted to a hospital shortly after he was born with complications. i have not heard if there has been an update because i'm too worried to check. breaks my heart. it also makes me stop and take in how incredibly blessed we are to have a healthy child. it's not a given, but a true deep blessing. thank you God.

i've also felt so strangely about all of the news about the death of one of the biggest enemies that i think we've ever faced as a country. the verminous hatred and dancing in the streets just reminds me of how bad that looks when we see other countries celebrating deaths of americans. hate does not overcome hate.

deep thoughts tonight.

in other news i've been working hard at getting tiny fete up and running. i feel really excited about a fresh start. it feels good. i still have so much to do and told everyone a bit on the early side (hello no business cards), but that's how i roll...

right now i am

listening to: adele

reading: creative walls

loving: my girl. just amazed by how awesome she is.

eating: turkey taco salad with homemade guacamole. recipe to follow.

wearing: this cute cardigan that my brother jake gave me.

missing: jake, he's on a road/move trip to montana with my dad.

watching: secrets from a stylist. love her!

admiring: my husband's handiness. he built the most beautiful desktops.

waiting for: my office to be finished (i just want to decorate), this weekend's birthday festivities with some of my oldest friends, life to slow down a bit.

what are you up to?

lately.

1. spotted on the little green notebook/ 2. can't wait to get this book

hm. i don't even know where to begin. the last few weeks have been exhausting. who knew that moving a few things around would take such a toll on every free second we have. add a bunch of social commitments (albeit fun ones) and you've got one tired lady.

just a few of the mishaps along the way:

• our washing machine has stopped spinning. this doesn't work for me. soaking wet cloth diapers are not pretty. trust. you should have seen me and sam trying to perform "diagnostics" to solve the problem. made me love sam that much more. (ps it's still broken)
• one of matilda's bottles fell in the dishwasher and sam had to use a heat gun to remove it from the bottom. it was glued. problem solved.
• i patched all of the holes from the frames we'd removed from the walls. proudly i repainted the patched holes with "alexandria beige" only to see that the new paint did not match the old and there were dark spots-everywhere. luckily sam found the old paint can buried below the house so that will be my project tonight. repainting.
• we've had the hardest time deciding on what kind of wood to use on the desktops, but i think we've figured it out.

thank God for wine.

a cute thing that happened today:

there was a lost baby owl outside at my mom's house. she had to call animal control to help move it back in to the trees. all matilda could talk about was the baby owl: "i saw a baby owl. it had two wings."

still here...

from l to r: first of two going away dinners for jake, my date matilda for our dinner with lindsey and parker, parting gift from our friend's baby "party," our new desks

i feel like i've been drowning in boxes and paintings. all of the contents of our office resided in our (already tiny) living room for the past few days. we went to alabama early saturday morning to pick up our new desks that lynndaddy and grammy made for us for our thirtieth birthdays. they are so perfect. now we are on the hunt for salvaged wood for the desk top. i am so excited to get to work!

we had a great weekend celebrating new adventures and new life. we have so, so much to be thankful for.

cupcakes from miss mamie's (i had the guinness), bikes, want this poster, my girl.

before everyone thinks i've gone off the deep end (coffee enemas anyone?) please know every day i strive to live a balanced life. the info in the rebuilding your temple series is not information i've generated to share, but what i am learning in class. i stand behind the information because i believe in it, but i take it all in stride. i really live an 80/20 philosophy (80% healthy, 20% fun). while i eat very healthy the majority of the time, i live for our vacation meals. once or twice a week sam and i will stuff our faces with whatever sounds good. we treat these meals with the upmost respect by going all out. lately i find myself dreaming of healthy treats because my taste buds have really changed. i truly crave things that are good for me (shocking i know). this has been my favorite splurge this week. so good!

how do you achieve balance in your life?

happy birthday to my pup guinness and happy st patrick's day. i'm proud to be irish!

under pressure.

my little gardener/ all i've wanted to do since wednesday

good morning! hope you all had a cheery weekend where you didn't stress out yourself and everyone around you trying to get a massive to-do list checked off. oh wait, that's just me. this weekend was stunningly perfect and i was fortunate enough to be able to spend it with my family. we tried to start a million projects, thus they are all still a work-in-progress. i am not usually a diy-er but i'm excited to share a weekend makeover with you guys . it's not quite done yet, so that will have to wait. oh the suspense!

here's the thing. i am an allergy sufferer. big time friends. it kills me because i only have problems during the spring when my gardener soul is longing to be outside. i started feeling bad last week and finally got some of this to help me breathe and keep me from sneezing all over people. i feel guilty about this because i'm trying to live naturally and not rely on any medicines and then i go and spend $30 on neon green allergy pills. i looked up natural alternatives and it seems pretty bleak. netipot every night? it feels like water torture.

any words of wisdom?

a couple of things to share...

fun fact: did you know hydrangeas are super easy to propagate? i stuck a bunch of dried hydrangeas in my winter planter arrangement. i was inspired by this. as i was tidying up my beds over the weekend i went to pull them out and they had rooted! i was so excited. i did absolutely nothing!

faq: "when you're cooking with coconut oil, does it make everything taste like coconut?"

coconut oil does have a very subtle flavor. i actually really like the flavor, but it you spice your food well you won't even notice it. i don't like using coconut oil with eggs. for eggs i cook them with raw butter. reason being that butter and coconut oil can handle high temperatures, unlike olive oil which becomes unstable.

ps i am soooo excited about the bachelor finale. my vote is on emily. care to wager?

hair nor there

this is how i wish i looked and felt today. i've been watching re-runs of satc on e! and am obsessed with carrie's hair when she's dating aiden and just broke it off with big. love all of the layers and the "bigness." also, i think nicole kidman's hair in the latest harper's bazaar is so airy and lovely. can you tell it's time for a cut? i wish i was adventurous as paige. isn't she/her hair so pretty?! well, i'm finally feeling like i am caught up for the moment. such a great feeling, which i'm sure will be over shortly!

i was interviewed a couple of weeks ago about changing our eating habits. you can read it here. speaking of interviews, nothing like getting one from a good friend. i met up with my friend osayi last night to discuss all things homemade grits. i always have the best time with her, torrential rain and all!

works in progress

our house has been cudified and now sam is sick too. i had decided that there is nothing worse than a sick baby until sam got sick. i think sick men are worse;). i spent a lot of time this weekend behind my sewing machine. these are some sneak peeks at some projects i've been working on. i've had some people ask me when i'm opening the shop back up... i've been staying so busy without it that i just don't know if i want to take on anything else quite yet. i will definitely keep you posted and am so flattered that people are asking. this weekend i also made two batches of the most delicious vegetable soup. appropriate, no? i can't wait to pass the recipe on later in the week.

i wanted to share this, my dearie christina posted a fabulously transparent post about blogging insecurities. christina is a good friend of mine and we've discussed the pitfalls of blogging before and i was so proud and happy that she aired out this dirty laundry. i loved reading the comments that followed and hearing her readers confess things that i've certainly felt as a blogger. "someone stopped following me... ouch. i keep commenting on so-and-so's blog and they have never responded. i get caught up in numbers and pleasing people." ah, it's not much different than high school (like i've said before). there are blogging clicks, there are "popular" blogs, these bloggers all talk to each other and each other only on twitter. it's hilarious really. when i spoke at that blogging conference a while back i felt it the most. girls were trying to outdress each other, everyone wanted to be a "big deal", i got snubbed by someone i thought i'd hit it off with, i was a nervous wreck with no one to cling to. i felt more insecure that day than i have felt in years. talk about out of my comfort zone, BUT it was a great "learning experience" and taught me that ultimately i blog because it is the one thing i do that is all mine. because i love sharing ideas and getting wonderful and thoughtful feedback, because there is nothing i love more than sitting down with my cup of coffee and pouring my heart out, and then reading your lovely blogs after. bliss.

hello monday

pennants via sfgirlbybay/ to-do stickies

good morning! i know us southerners are bracing ourselves for a week of "normal." the ice is finally melting and we're forced to climb out of our states of hibernation and get to work.

this weekend i felt like i was trying to make up for lost time. i was sick over the "snowcation" and did absolutely nothing, thus putting me far, far behind. i'm working on a fun valentine's project for my boss lady and i'm also finishing up "matching, but not matching" outfits for two destined-for-fame little people. i am a productive morning person. the only problem is that my sewing nook is in our bedroom and sam is not a morning person. he could stay up all night working with leather and i feel so unmotivated as soon as it's dark outside. what a conundrum.

i love the feeling of being productive. unfortunately i don't always deal with the pressure well. i may have gotten in a fight with sam over him buying bbq sauce with high fructose corn syrup. tone it down rhonda. sometimes i'm my sam's own worst enemy. i have a constant to-do list and as much as i want a movie night* with my husband i can't help but think of: the floors that need cleaning, that i need to journal, that i have a dozen people to email, the refrigerator needs cleaning out, that i should be doing the 30 day shred, blah blah blah. aren't we all constantly battling the desire to "be" with the desire to "do?" maybe not.

goop's newsletter this week focused on busy moms and how they manage their schedules. granted these moms are ultra rich and fancy (stella mccartney, some venture capitalist lady, and dear gwennie herself). after reading the article i noticed that i felt defeated. i can't afford to get a weekly blowout or a personal trainer to help motivate me. i don't have an assistant or people planning my days for me. what's a girl to do?

*editors note: we had a chili and wine dinner, watched 3 episodes of house, and then i crawled in bed at 9 o'clock. i am a good time.

[photo.]
i confess that this is not always an easy thing for me to remember. some people we deal with in life are just tough. i've been feeling a bit punched around these days and i'm in the need of a little rest. on another note, i've decided to close the shop until next year. as much as i LOVE creating little pieces of clothing, it leaves me little free time to make things for my little one and i want to enjoy this season as much as possible. i look forward to returning refreshed and inspired.

it feels good to take charge of your life.

feeling like i can breathe a little easier already!

don't judge me, but i have discovered the joys of toddlers and tv. it's pure decompression for this girl. sesame street is educational right? the tv has been saving me from afternoon meltdowns and allowing me to get laundry, dishes, and dinner done. who's gonna argue with that?

when i was taking this picture i was caught off guard at how beautiful matilda is, that she is wearing her blonde locks in a bun, and that i still have heart fluttery moments when i look at her. it's hard to believe that she's real sometimes. i prayed so hard to be a mom. everyday brings something new. for instance the other day at parker's second birthday party matilda learned what obama says..."CHANGE."

don't forget to enter the giveaway here and check out this fabulous raffle!

rebuilding my temple

i'm writing to you from the beautiful outdoors today. unfortunately this makes me slightly paranoid, because my friendly street perusers may be tempted to come and swipe this here computer. i digress.
i have been busy learning a lot about nutrition. i go to a class every week called rebuilding the temple. it's led by my friend paul who literally rebuilt his temple (he lost 100 pounds) and is a walking example. he's a great teacher too, i highly recommend this class. i've learned so much. for instance i now use this instead of this when i'm cooking. i've been eating a ton of this. my favorite breakfast treat is faye greek yogurt with a spoon full of peach preserves + organic peanut butter. i mix in some cinnamon and shredded coconut and i'm a happy girl.


{love this shop}

did i mention i've lost 20 lbs? i have completely cut out refined sugar and most grains and i feel amazing. sam and i allow ourselves one free meal a week and i now realize the definition of a treat. i look forward to planning out what i want to eat. my last favorite meal involved banana pudding ice cream!



right now i'm drinking green tea and reading this. i've decided i really don't want to read or watch anything that doesn't nourish me. i feel like i have been living on a diet of brain candy and it leaves me feeling pretty sick. not that i don't think it is fun to indulge in trashy tv, i just don't want to do it every night! hello dancing with the stars i'm talking to you.

i'm still chipping away at this. sam and i visited 2 churches over the last 2 weeks and feel strongly that we want to call trinity our home. the sermon this past sunday was really incredible. it was about simplicity and i just feel called more and more to focus on the basics and to stop wanting so much. we were instructed to do an exercise of gratitude where we go through our closets and donate whatever doesn't make us truly thankful to have it. read: do i really need five cream flowy tops? NO.


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