Tuesday, March 30, 2010

3.30

had to take a step back for a second and reevaluate my life. i've been feeling really down and miserable for no good reason, seeking encouragement like a little encouragement monster...like me like me. it's exhausting and i'm feeling over it. blogging used to be such a fun thing for me, a way to document matilda's childhood, to grow, to learn from others, to get inspired. lately it has been a little yucky for me, it can feel competitive, soulless. so, i stepped back and decided i won't let it be that way. God has been speaking so much to me in subtle ways about striving and seeking fulfillment and validation from everywhere and anyone but Him. i'm learning.



i decorated matilda's room for easter. i can't believe it is on sunday.



see that peter rabbit book. that was a book i received on my first easter from grammy and lynndaddy.



i also refreshed matilda's bed. i love these lady bug sheets. they were a gift from one of my favorite people...karina!



my poor little girl is coughing away in it right now. she has had a rough go and a constant runny nose. allergies like me? hope not!



we haven't been the happiest. even with her hippo in her back pack...something's up. growth spurt? teething? who knows!

© copyright homemade grits

11 comments:

Casey and Jamie Wood said...

I love what you said and totally agree! Blogging can be tough and it is easy to get wrapped up in it all and it can then become a chore. Keep at it! I'm sure God will bless you in all that you do!

Christy said...

I hope you all are feeling better! It has been a struggle lately, but you will get through anything! **Just to make you laugh, the word verification for my comment is 'bongs'. Hehe...

Jenny said...

I'm not sure how I stumbled over here but I'm glad I did.

Gosh.

It's my first time here but I'm still going to say what popped into my mind when I read your post.

You sound like a lovely, creative, giving woman. I look at your little bunny book display and can see how much you care for your child and your home.

Write because you want to write. Write what you want to write. Don't write with an eye toward getting followers or building your blog to mega proportions, unless that is what you want.

It is your blog. Your public diary. Say what you want in the way you want to say it.

And be true to you and your voice.

If people choose to read it, that is their choice.

But if you follow the rules: no music, no this, no that, don't post on Tuesdays when the moon is full...

...and you write according to the formulas that the big blogs are using...

then your blog looses it's uniqueness...it looses the only factor that made it special to begin with...

and that factor is you. Your voice. Your outlook. Your insights.

I think your voice is lovely and clear.

If people make mean remarks block them as followers and move on.

In any endeavor there are the haters and the naysayers and the people stuck in junior high trying to one up everyone.

The trick is not to listen and not to care what they think.

And don't.

You have a lovely family, a lovely creative talent, a clear and lovely voice.

And that is enough.

Sorry.

I'm slinking away now.

In shame.

But I'm not deleting these words.

I'm standing by 'em.

And you can delete this comment if you choose to.

Don't change you to please bullies. Bullies can never, ever be pleased. It is themselves they hate and themselves they doubt.

Erin said...

I love you very much.

Kellee said...

If it helps, Ella went through something similar to Til when she was around 18 months too. I still don't know what it was exactly. I think I chalked it up to preparation for the two-year molars. Not fun, but she got through it quickly when it happened. That was the momma perspective. Jon on the other hand said, "Well, they don't call 'em snot-nosed kids for nothing!" The obvious daddy insight! lol! :)

B said...

just so you know, there are three blogs that I check first thing everyday - Nie, Bring the Rain and...YOU! i love reading your blog and i just love the pictures you post. bloggers are like snowflakes, no one is the same. and that's good, because it would make for boring reading!

Caroline said...

Oh I hope you feel better. I love how you decorated the room, and Easter is one of my favorite times to spend time with family. XO

Claire Kiefer said...

I'm sorry M's not been feeling her best, but she sure does look freaking adorable with that backpack on. Love you both.

Anonymous said...

God wants us to rely on Him- find our value and worth in Him- not what others think of us or how they act towards us-- I am learning that exact lesson right now...easier to say than remember, but contiual prayer to God for strength in that, helps!

yesen said...

You're such a sweet delight, Lesley...God keeps giving me glimpses of you every time we run into each other and I absolutely love what I see. You keep me company when no one else can & I always look forward to what you so eloquently have to say. And as for Matilda, be assured she's like every child out there...needing us to be patient and supportive, especially when she can't! She'll appreciate that!

bunnie said...

i LOVE the room.. super SWEET! you are inspiring.. just continue to do YOU. and everything will be as it should. oh and LOVES the new profile pic:-)